Saturday, September 26, 2009

Chapter 45: Weather Within Emotions

Dry, bitter, harsh, frigid, biting winds driving through the mind. Knowing that I should be upset, but not being able to remember the reason why. Or maybe it just goes two ways. I do not quite remember why, but neither do I want to try to find out why.

I just want to, and feel like walking away and carrying on the rest of life is all I can do. Or maybe I just want to believe that is all I can and should do.

The dust in the sky bring about tears within that cannot fall along with the buried memory.

The sunset does invoke memories of the times that were both fun and upsetting, yet not being that which I want to remember.

But it also reminds me that the future holds a lot more, and that I simply want to carry on, believing that the past was but a long forgotten dream.

Maybe that should be the way it is. I do sort of feel happier this way, or at least I see it that way.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Chapter 44: I Gave It My Best

Results came out yesterday at 8 am.

Microbiology A (4 credits) - Distinction
Food Culture (4 credits) - Distinction
Introduction to Molecular Biotechnology (4 credits) - A
Inorganic Chemistry (4 credits) - B+
Communication Skills (2 credits) - C+
Mathematics for Life Sciences (3 credits) - C

Last semester's GPA - 2.98
Current semester's GPA - Uncalculated
Accumulated GPA - 3.198

Feeling - Unsatisfied, bitter

I gave it my best. But in the end, I suppose it just was not good enough. Perhaps things are indeed predetermined. Whether we have the strength we need, or not.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Chapter 43: What Have These Eyes Seen...?

These few days, I have seen a few interesting things. Well, at least interesting enough to write home about. Just yesterday, there was a gundam exhibition with plenty of interesting model kits (You know, those miniature model kits of mobile mecha suits in the extremely long history of animation series?).

I took a few photgraphs here and there, since even I could not resist from the sight of such perfect and fascinating displays, despite my relative inexperience and lack of knowledge on the series. Too bad I cannot, and probably will not upload any of them (It's a thing of mine, blogsite's policy). If it is still open though, and you happen to be in the area, make your way down to Compasspoint (I believe that is the name of the place in Singapore?).

Check out the huge Strike Freedom over there, and along with the gundam's version of the well-known story of the 'Thrre Kingdoms', and the sneak peeks of prototypes... Oh, just check everything there out.

Besides that, I also spotted a few interesting places, which I believe to be at the top floor of a building known as Plaza Singapura.

For one thing, there was a special outlet known as 'Toy Outpost', and I quite like their idea. It's very intriguing, and allows you to not only browse and purchase items, but also allow you to rent a display locker for as low as $1.95 a day (maybe $60 a month), with some conditions though, to display and sell your own interesting items.

Such items can be vintage and also the latest modern toys, collectibles such as trading cards and lighters and other things, though I might not know the limitations as I have never tried it myself.

Besides being a great place to find rare items, this idea lets you experience what it is like to be the boss of your own 'little business'. But why not let you drop by and experience these wonders for yourself?

If you happen to be there, there is another place that sells great (may actually working) guns, swords and amours of all kinds. I simply viewed them, since their price is kind of out of my reach. But, from what I had seen, they had not only really old specimens, but also really cool replicas of items you may have seen in animations and manga, or other media. This I have got to reccomend.

All in all, I have had quite an experience around these places. But, like I mentioned earlier, it might be worth your while to experience them for yourself.

Until then.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Chapter 42: Just a Couple of Thoughts

While walking around once, I crossed paths with two very playful children, running around. Seeing them coming, I did, of course, try to step aside, but unfortunately, clashed with the younger of the two instead, resulting in her tripping, and crying.

I know it was an accident, but I could not help but feel a little disappointed, that perhaps I might have made the choice of attempting to step away in a different direction. I could not help but think, that perhaps I was partially at fault.

I suppose I was, which I have to admit, but since I did not have any intention of wanting this unexpected event to happen, but instead chose to try to stop it from happening with the best of my judgements and actions at the time, would that mnake me a sinner? Maybe whether I am depends on the perspective from which it is portrayed.

I know this question does not have much significance for now... but it would be an added bonus to know the answer, as it does interest me a little.

That aside... these few days, I cannot help but wonder if some people are hopelessly selfish? Maybe it is simply my view from living around my fellow countrymen, and having little exposure to the rest of the world, so let us limit my views to say, majority of the people I have met at those times.

That said, my experiences have given me the impression that these people, including myself, deep down within, even if it be only a insignificantly small amount, are selfish thoughts.

After all... if I were to succumb entirely to this selfish part of me, I realised that my thoughts and views on life change. This next paragraph depicts these thoughts.

"I am only given one life, and in the end, am I not the only one who can look after it? Who is to say others would help me, if I were to do the same for them? No, the only trusted idea is that I would certainly be the only one who can look after myself in the end. Therefore, no good would come out of compassion. Let others help each other if they wish, I do not need to care at all. Even if the whole world dies off, what does it matter to me?"

But if I were to fully control my own mind, I obviously do not think this is entirely true. I know that we are all connected to this same world together, live and will die at the same place, and therefore, the key to surviving and building a truly enhanced life is to work together, and give care and compassion to each other.

But the point here is, no matter how many courtesy campaignes we hold, we do not strive to eliminate selfishness, but to supress it to desirable and helpful (of our current perspective, of course) levels.

That is about all, for now.

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Chapter 41: And the End of the Journey...

A few days ago, I was playing a game for lesiure, trying to kill time during my 7 weeks of holidays. I had no big project, since I would only get promoted to year 2 the next semester.

But while my opponent was enjoying the fun of the game (while he was winning of course), and as he looked on to see if I found the same joy, I realised I might have been a little too serious.

At that time, others were enjoying the fun and amusement of the game, during the journey itself, and all I could think of with grim was finding a strategy to come back for a full victory. I felt the only was I could ever be happy was if the end of the journey was in my favour.

The same probably goes for everything else I have done. To put it simply, perhaps my attitude towards life needs to be adjusted. People say the journey is more important than the goal itself, which is a concept I have completely opposed...