Chapter 99: Right or Wrong

Very often, we find ourselves asking, 'What Should I Be Doing?'. There is the common element of needing to differentiate between right and wrong here.

From what I have found out, a lot of people use different ways to do so.

In Christianity, from what I can tell, right and wrong is based on the words of God himself. For example, through holy scriptures. But the question I would have is how God tells right from wrong. Then again, the fact that God may be the one who defined right and wrong, being the creator of all things contradicts the elements within my question.

In buddhism, it seems that right and wrong is based on whether the actions and thoughts are rooted in negative aspects such as greed and selfishness. But the question again, is how and who defines such aspects, and whether they can prove that their words are absolute.

Certain people say that they base right and wrong on their emotions, while others say they base it on their visions of logic. SOme say that they use a combination of both.

For me, I do not believe in the concepts of right and wrong. What is right, in terms of what I do, I base it on my surroundings and how people act. As they say, "When in Rome, do as the Romans do".

But that is not all. I also factor in what I should do based on what objectives I want, based purely on will, whether the objectives will result in unnecessary harm, and if it does result in harm, it must be justified by benefits to objects and people involved.

And I have to say, most of these ideals and beliefs I base my decision on is what I am comfortable with, and what kind of environment I had based my education and growth on, and what kind of influences I may have come across.

I cannot promise a true unbiased decision.

No one can truly draw the line between right and wrong, is a conclusion I can come to for now.

Chapter 98: Welcome to 5040

About two days ago, I had one of the strangest dreams. It was just like any other day, when you hear people talking about what the future might bring, and about their hopes and dreams, the usual conversations.

The next day, I somehow found myself in a strange place.

There were a lot of slums and factories, and a lot of debris around. People were either staying in groups together in one place, looking at passer-bys suspiciously, while some people, supposedly working there, often fought and scrambled for what little currency they could find. These currencies were strangely-shaped. Some were in the form of pill-like structures, while some were shaped like small pieces of chalk. Being new here, I took some currency for safety measure (Okay, it may seem like stealing, but this was for survival reasons).

I then decided to go to the train station to see where I was. It turns out I was in Singapore, and the train station really looked different. The lines were so complicated and certain stations I used to know of were gone, while new ones I had never heard of were there. From what little currency I had, I purchased a ticket heading for Yio Chu Kang Station, to head for the only place I could think of where I could probably find people I knew of.

Along the way, a person was caught stealing a wallet. He was caught immediately and assigned to stay in a prison-like cabin within the train until further judgement.

I reached Nanyang Polytechnic. The building looked a little larger, albeit a little familar. While there, I recognised certain people. In fact, they looked exactly like they did, as I knew them. They did not seem to recognise me at all. Looking at a calender nearby, I saw the year 5040, believe it or not.

The most interesting thing was that none of these people whom I knew seemed to not have aged since 3030 years ago. Or maybe they simply looked familar. Way too familar!

There was an election about to come as well, as seen from certain posters. But no one seemed too happy about it. It seemed that someone really iron-fisted and tryannic was in charged of the place.

Before I could find out more, I woke up.

What a strange dream. This was like something out of a bad science fiction novel.

Oh well.

Chapter 97: Really, The Closest I Have Ever Got To

Harming crabs is eating just plain fried buns meant to go with a certain crab dish (Can't take chilli, and that was at least a couple of months ago) and that extra rare, very-hard-to-find soft-shell crab (I mean, how many times do I ever get across such a rare dish? And that was a few weeks ago).

But afterwards, I will probably refrain from having anything to do with crabs for a long time to come. Meaning after that little trip to the Rocky Beach off Changi Boardwalk to release around six boxes of live crabs as part of an animal liberation act.

But honestly, that place was not a very good choice, and maybe I should have told them, but by then it was too late. Changi seasides are best known for being fishing spots for live seafood. With all my heart, I can only wait and hope that those crabs will never be caught again.

Although it would be amusing if those fishermen decided to go diving barefeet at that time. Okay, not so, but rather evil of me since crab-induced wounds are also known to possibly lead to infection by flesh-eating bacteria, very likely leading to amputation of infected areas or death.

Thankfully, that area is not so well known as a swimming spot. Whoever decides to, however, I can only wish luck for that random stranger and that that unfortunate, potential victim happens to be using heavy duty armour or protection of some kind.

It sure was one day to remember though. Constant wrestling matches with the legs and pincers of the crabs while trying to cut them loose reminded me of what fiesty creatures these can be.

I do have my worries though.

For one thing, the balance of the eco-system. For another, being grown in artificial environments of farms, that they can adapt quickly to and survive in natural environments.

Sigh, it is but less than a week to another series of meaningless battles. Battles that everyone is forced to fight with their hardest. Only difference is that it is truly meaningless to me since there is hardly any benefit of my doing so other than to survive to the next level. But, I suppose, all this while, survival is equivalent to victory for me.

I have not seen the 'evils' of the world. All I have seen is merely the truth.

Chapter 96: A Thousand Words

Thinking back, I have this habit of never using pictures for this blogsite. I guess it's just part of my own personal code in writing here.

Besides the fact that this functions as my notepad rather than a sketchpad, I never quite enjoyed or fully appreciated the concept of taking pictures.

Typically, when tourists come to look at displays or areas of interest, rather than take their time to enjoy the present using their five senses, they choose to immediately snap a photograph.

This photograph functions as something for people to look at after their trip.

But often, when taking photographs, we forget to take our time to actually experience the whole thing fully and first hand. In that case, I feel that the point of the whole trip was wasted. If that is all you wanted to do, why not just practice photography at home and look for pictures on books and the internet?

I think, perhaps, I would rather focus on saving the experience as a memory within me that I can still feel the power of my five senses whenever I think of those times.

And the words I use here are an extension of what I have observed.

Until then.

Chapter 95: Time to Transcend Infinity

Whenever I have to reflect, I realise that everyone has limits within their current knowledge of this world.

This may sound strange, but somehow, I feel that the world can be infinite. It seems to be growing everyday, not just in terms of time and space, but in the people and their movements. In this way, it seems almost impossible to comprehend this every growing database of the universe.

If there was an archive for the histories of the world, I believe it would not only be large beyond comprehension, but also growing without limit. Slow, perhaps, but without limit.

So if I, as well as others, were to stay within our circles of comfort and safety without summing up the courage to venture beyond and trudging on with that great journey, we would be missing out on a lot.

There is a whole endless road out there for us to explore. It is just a matter of being up to it.

True, certain things may seem dangerous and fearful, and we may not want to accept things that we cannot perceive comfortably and accomodate into the realities we know, but through taking the initiatives and attitude towards journeying into this huge world of ours, can we ever make our life meaningful and fruitful. If we refuse to enhance our growth and development in mind and spirit, than what use is this gift known as life?

Still don't believe me? Well, I suppose I have my own story to tell you.

For a long time, I had limited knowledge on the people within the campus. I used to think of all of them as selfish hypocrites with ignorant, naive ideals, refusing to acknowledge the comfortable unknown, but instead choosing to cover up and justify their actions and beliefs with 'noble' sounding excuses just to make them feel good and sooth the guilt.

Dragging chairs instead of lifting (utterly lazy and noisy), switching on laptops during lectures, smoking with public toilets, using 'colourful' words in their everyday conversations, burping outloud thinking it's funny and great, noisy beyond comparison in libraries, occsionally singing outloud and yelling in lifts when in a clique, having mentalities of taking lifts down and then going up (NYPians will know what I mean), bumping into others and just walking off without a word, having egos beyond comprehension, etc.

I had especially limited knowledge on Christianity, and probably still have.

But Singapore is a country with multiple backgrounds and religions, and to live in such a place, we have to be willing to learn and accept the various differences.

If I refused to learn more, I would only be judging by what I saw on the surface, shaped and modified by by my own biased perspective.

Well, I suppose it all began when I decided (I don't know what got into me) to step up to the Campus Crusade for Christ booth for the CCA open house at NYP 2010.

Honestly, I am not even sure I remember why despite being a non-Christian and non-believer for so long, I actually did that.

Soon, I begun attending various P.D.As one after another as an attempt to learn more about my fellow students who held such beliefs.

I saw no harm in it, and since it seem like a good way to spend time, I continued coming anyway, and joined a Disciple Group for that same reason. I started off with a blank, clean slate of an attitude and was determined to learn more from them.

Sometimes, I spent time talking to the members of that organisation.

I found that I had been mistaken.

And therefore, I had never regretted my decision on stepping up that day.

Indeed, I had nothing to lose, and through my experience, I learnt more about other students within the campus, includng their various individual thoughts and stories. Stories that I can take with me in my memories when I finally graduate.

The world is without limits. To transcend infinity? It's your choice.

"This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes." - Morpheus, The Matrix (1999)

Until then.

Chapter 94: Forget Those Not

Forgive and forget seems to be a cliche phrase. And I view it as yet another naive idea, along with the idea of erasing the past.

Yes, it is true that I can forgive, but I find it rather foolish to forget.

It seems the habit is to sweep the past under the rug and then forget it all.

But never forget, the time of time is constant and cannot be broken. The past will always exist.

During the daytime, you cannot see the moon. But you know that it does exist And in the evening, although it may seem invisible to mortal eyes, the sun does exist.

Even though you cannot see it, no matter how much it waxes and wanes, the dark side of the moon will always exist.

The past is the same. You might not be able to see it, or choose to ignore it, but it will always exist. It cannot be changed nor erased. Rather than avoid, it might be more practical to accept it in a way that is beneificial to you.

Speaking of ideals, I visited the funeral of one of my two favourite Aunts from my Mother's side just a few days ago.

Which made me ponder, on what the term 'death' is used on.

The way I see it, we often use death to describe the physical structure of the subject when all its functions that relate to life, such as the ability to respond to stimuli, cease, and the body begins to decompose.

But is that really it?

I suppose the reason why people find it hard to part with the physical body is because it is the ultimate proof and source of the person's life, one with which you can interact with and get a response that comforts you.

However, I feel that a person's 'life' extends beyond his physical structure representing him, especially if 'life' means that the person exists in an observable form that does not involved degradation.

When a person 'dies', he leaves behind extensions of himself or herself, through contributions made that affect the world and its inhabitants, and through the family left behind, as well as the memories which always exist through the flow of time.

Therefore, even though I may not have met her for over ten years, I still remember and cherish the memories with her that I hold. And in that sense, she is very much alive to me.

I know nothing of the soul, spirit, or anything beyond the physical world, but these extensions of a person's life are what I have truly experienced and know.

Perhaps the meaning of life is nothing if death does not exist. We often contrast the two to tell the difference, after all.

Ultimately, since humans first came up with the terms 'life' and 'death', giving birth to names for such concepts, it is up to them to decide how to use such terms.

Chapter 93: Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda

How often have you heard people say that they would like to change everything and turn back time if they could? I would wager that you have heard it often enough.

Well, it may seem quite tempting, but upon further thought, even if I could do so, given such incredible power, I would not.

The past is not a very appealing thing to think of.

When I think of times that I could have done, and things that have turned to a place where I can never reach, all because I made cowardly decisions, it hurts badly.

When I think of the silly and immature things I did back then, it hurts too.

And being reminded of it all by those observable changes in the present and impending future do not help at all.

And, of course, often the good memories are overruned by the bad ones.

But instead of labelling everything as good and bad, black and white, I would like to categorise them all under one happy roof. No matter what they are, they are the truth that will stand it's ground forever.

And the truth form memories that shape my experience. And this is experience that I would never trade away for anything in the world, for it is part of me.

It may be painful, happy or fearful, but these memories are the greatest and most unique gifts that I can never get again if I discarded them.

So, why would I want to go and change the past for?