Something touched my thoughts when I had a talk with my elder cousin at the last reunion dinner for Chinese New Year Celebrations Eve. He and his wife asked me if I was enjoying my school life and whether I was looking forward to serving National Service, or rather, if I was prepared.
I answered as to how I would at that time. I know that attempting to delay such inevitable events would only lead to pain and wastage of energy. I know that there is no point in doing so, and that my only solution and will is to move forward through the future events set in motion.
But that led me to think. If my will was to push forward into the future without delaying anything, would it not lead to the final door of death?
If so, then what is the proof of my existence? What kind of souvenir can I take back on this trip?
After some thoughts, the answer became clear to me. My mission here was to collect memories, the deeper and more meaningful, the better. Through these memories, I would establish an form of eternal existence, or you might even say immortality. And it is through this that I shall satisfy my desires and move on to greater heights. This shall be the way that I shall merge into the circle for greater heights.
But through these journey, there is of course pain and stumps alog the way. But whenever that happens, I think of how somewhere, out there, there is a fellow traveller who is suffering more than I am. And that if I were to surrender and yield, I would be dishonoring and disgracing these people. Therefore, I should bare with it and count myself fortunate instead. In this way, I can change suffering to motivation to push forward.
Well, if seems strange, I must agree, and clearly, I am not logician. But hey, if it works for me, than it does.
Until then.
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