Chapter 101: Everything I Have

After everything that has happened so far, there is so much that I want to say in today's entry. I'm going to let out everything now.

About a few days ago, a worker at CCC heard about how I could participate in Buddhist Society activities and yet lead a Christian life, since he once said that their beliefs contradicted each other. I told him about this since I said that I had joined the YOG Flash Mob training as part of their training.

Let me focus on the reason why I joined in the first place. Believe it or not, at first, I had absolutely no intention of joining in some ridiculous actions and movements while shouting a cheer that would remove every shred of dignity I had left. I just didn't run that way.

But according to what I heard, BS was in terrible trouble if they could not find enough people to fill the quota required, and they were far behind. The threat was to be disbanded so as to make room for other CCAs to become official. It was not the making more room, as I felt they had their point there.

What I was infuriated at was that this was sounding more and more like they wanted to do this for the sake of doing so for some obnoxious political agenda rather than to uphold the true sportsman spirit and pride of Singapore.

I was even more so knowing full well I did not have the power needed to stop them.

But I could only do the next best thing by joining.

True, my joining still left them short of people. But just because I am weak and cannot fully produce a solution to solve the problem, doesn't mean I have an excuse to stand by. I'm sure that, Buddhist Society or not, the Lord would command me to assist my fellow men rather than remain idle.

When it comes to the issue the CCC member mentioned, let me put it this way. I am not entirely sure if this is what society wants, but when I first joined these groups, my first thought was to learn and understand about the different people around. You can read all the religious books in the world, but they won't help you a bit in truly understanding. These books were printed in perspective, and such knowledge is not used to it's full potential without the input of experience.

The commandments mentioned obeying only the true lord. But Buddha was never a God. He was, in fact, a teacher. Although I merely joined to witness their ways first hand, this does not mean that I entirely approve of their ideals. The way I see it, I am simply looking at his teachings, that is, I am listening to his opinions.

"Do not lean on your own understanding". Of course, I will remain faithful to the Lord and listen as well as carry out his commands, but let me ask you this. Anyone of you who wishes to question my actions.

"Why not" Whenever we discuss a topic, even something as sensitive as religion, we like to stay true to our opinions, and voice them out. Let's face it, we choosed to follow Christ based on our own free will, opinions, and attitude. The choice to make the first step stemmed from a the results of a process shaped by our own perspective.

However, the way I see it, it is also good to listen to the opinions of others, while giving ours, and this is what we call discussion. Communication. An actual exchange of what is stored up there is our minds.

And what better way is there to do so other than combining both knowledge we acquired through books and witnessing the activities and beliefs of others?

If there is one thing I wish to do more than just read the bible, I want to communicate with Him. For that reason, I have always preferred combining bible reading with prayers. So we could actually hold a discussion.