H. Father,
I'm penning down my thoughts to you, for now. I'm not very good at speaking my thoughts out, so I'm writing this specially to you. This is my prayer and letter to you.
I want to thank you for listening to my every word. You allowed me to understand your love even more. You made a way to places, and showed me your answers. It means too much to me.
H. Father, I'm approaching the last days of my final year project at Nanyang Polytechnic. In me, I know that there is a long road ahead. In me, I know I should not worry. You said you would take care of what I would need in your plans. But everytime I'm awake just before I take my rest for the night, even when the work for the day is done, I cannot help but think of the future, and knowing that it will come. Time after time, you told me to be strong, and you reinforced the message once again. H. Father, I pray that you will break these limits within me. I pray that you will remove these doubts and grasps of fear and silence within me.
H. Father, as I approach the last days, my journey has been fraught with bumps over and over again. I thank you for sending Joseph, Joshua, Sumit, Wei Keat, Guo Wei and many names I may not recall for now. I thank you for sending me to Campus Crusade, to FCBC, and to Trinity.
H. Father, the attacks of the devil seem relentless, but your shield has always been standing there, a shield of faith and love.
I have released terrible acts of sins, even as far as blasphemy, reviling and wrath. Yet, as I asked for forgiveness and to repent, by your grace, I was saved.
H. Father, I still face bumps even now. I'm being pushed to the walls by the demands of my supervisor. My father doesn't let me have any rest even I reached home, sometimes driving me to the brink of lowering your shield and letting wrath consume me. H. Father, in me, I know you have plans for me, and that you put me in Nanyang Polytechnic, in this particular course for a reason.
Did you remember that time when I was angry and upset with myself, how I committed acts of blasphemy that even as of now I regret? I struggled with unhappiness and thoughts of destruction as I was pushed towards a new field and a new season. At times, as I got stuck in an FYP field and situation which I saw nothing but hatred and negativity, evil got hold of me and made me think of destruction of everything around me, even of destruction within myself.
Yet, you saved me once again, and provided me with what I needed to still be here today, writing this prayer. You reminded me of your love, time and time again.
I have reached a time when I am uncertain of the future you promised. I am not even sure if I can even be of any use to you. This life I hold, I do not know how to express it well, but maybe I was not meant to study life sciences at all.
H. Father, I pray that if this it true, make the path for me to move through. I pray that if this is but a false thought produced by the devil, that you will provide me with the strength and resolve to rebuke him and his lies, that you will break the chains and limits binding my mind.
H. Father, I pray that you will be there, to ensure I do not allow my wrath to consume me.
In the warm, sweet name of Jesus,
Amen.
The Somewhat Eager Author:
- ShalomHC
- Singapore, Singapore, Singapore
- For those who have bothered or stumbled onto here, have as much fun as you can. After all, rather than have as much fun as possible, surely you would not wish to focus on having as much boredom as possible? Either way, I'm just using this blog, Revived Walk as a way to pen down notes, and on the way, pen down any silly stuff I like since I am just too lazy to pick up an actual pen and write it all down. Besides, paper has limited space and since I spend more time typing than writing, why not? That said, enjoy. Laughing at my notes, sharing in my learning, it's all good. Ignore my other blogs though. They'll likely rot your brain and if they do (not applicable to zombies), I hold no responsibility.
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