Chapter 108: Christian, I Might Refuse To Be

... If this continues on. In this sense, I refer to the Christians I have come across. The only thing we have in common would be a connection with God. Bear in mind this only applies to the ones whom I have met recently, and do not apply to the general population. I may be wrong, and I am biased to an extent here. Bear in mind this as I write.

To be honest, most of such said people whom I have met seem to be completely incapable of writing or speaking one sentence without the word 'God', 'Faith', 'Satan', 'Sin', 'Christ', and the worst part is, in every response they give seems to have a bible reference as a must-have. Yes, I am pretty sick of it, and that pretty much makes the difference between me and them.

Take yesterday for instance, when I was talking to someone. I wanted to steer his conversation to a more casual one, but he would not shut up about using the phrases 'Joyful this', 'Faith that'. He stopped only when I asked about his hobbies. Finally found a way.

I'll give it straight, It is great that you are this dedicated to God as the center of your life, but you have to understand that there are others around you who may not do so to such an extent, that is, those who do not worship the same 'God'. While it may seem perfectly alright to spray the name of your God to no matter who you encounter, it would be great, out of courtesy and to be considerate, to be more universal in your language unless the person seems to be as bold as you.

Another example would be in scam emails concerning money. If you aren't sure of what religion your potential victim would be, be more universal and not so obnoxious, instead of writing 'God bless you' at the end of the mail and making Islam references, when I clearly did not state that I was a Muslim in my msn profile. Does my name sound Muslim in any way? I would reply back in this manner if not for the fact that I do not want to recieve more of such junk mail (I get an irritating number of 15+ every week, when I never ever reply to either. Can't they get it into their thick head that I'm not a greedy fool like their target victims?).

ALright, I'm done ranting for now.

Chapter 107: FYP So Far

From the past three weeks up until now, I've been going through my Final Year Project. It's not really a final year, since I still have a semester left. Well, kind of, I suppose.

It's not so bad. I think I might be getting used to the techniques. The thing is I'm just extra worried about the sterility and the avoiding of contamination so I can get accurate results. Well, I just have a ways to go, since there is stil much to learn in perfecting my skill and techniques. I just wish I can learn faster. Oh, well. One step at a time, right? As long as I remember that every problem has a solution of it's own. I just have to search for it, and sooner or later, depending on my will, I'll find it somehow.

If I were to be honest, I'm still quite concerned about whether my project will be successful. But there's not much choice, isn't there? Rather than be too worried, I should just be cautious, while taking enough courage to dive into the different work I have to do. There isn't much to that. Nothing more, nothing less.

As long as I walk with God as Enoch did, as an instrument of His will, ready to hear and carry out his commands through His perfect plan, while he provides for me all that I need in this journey. And I hope I can continue follow Him even unto his Kingdom after death, just as Enoch was fortunate enough to do so.

Chapter 106: After All That's Said and Done

That's it. Five examination papers came by and gone, so fast, just like that. Now that these five monster modules are out of the way, these five bumps on the road, a new hurdle appears. My final year project approaches, which I have a certain fear about. For one thing, I have never been too skilled when it comes to practicals and presentations. This module includes a lot of lab work and a final presentation at the end.

Everyday at school will be 8.30 am to 5.30 am, with perhaps one hour lunch break at most. The timings for work may be extended if need be.

Oh, right. If I pass my Marketing for Life Sciences 1 this year, I get to take it's sequel next semester too.

I start going back next monday.

That's all for now.

Chapter 105: Checkgoal

Alright, I still post even within such crucial times, unlike what I had said in the last post. I was taking a break for a while, and thought of a game I haven't played for a while. I stopped going to the Chess Club for a while, mainly because except for one and a half of other people, the rest of the players were mainly arrogant, and very ironically, the sterotypical disgrace I thought rarely existed. Biggest one is the latest head honcho who used to be an ex-captain, did badly and had to complete National Service, and still comes crawling back jobless, but is still able to talk big.

To be honest, I respect them as players, but not them as people.

Hopefully that one and half doesn't get corrupt too, just as most people do within 1/2 a year, as I had experienced.

I learnt the game in an about less than an hour after being taught by a friend a few years ago who convinced me to join the co-curricular club he was in, by the lures of a good air conditioned and comfortable environment, with the teacher in charge promising to deliver as many CCA points as possible.

I'm still learning to improve, but I didn't have any other associates whom I managed to convince to play the game. Mainly because of misconceptions.

And even still now, I'm hearing the same ones again.

First of all, do not generalise all players of this game as nerds. I'll like to point out that this applies not only to chess, but science students.

Second of all, stop with the sterotypes of chess players being smart or good at memorising. Not only is that generalising, but let me give you an example here. I'm lousy at grades, possibly one of the worst students in my school in all history, and I have a terrible memory when it comes to taking note of the names of people I manage to meet only once or twice. And the kind of fool who rambles on this blog and often doesn't listen to his own advice.

There's a lot more other than that.

I enjoy chess because it's a game, just like that soccer most people enjoy so much. It has that intense feeling that is special, quite similar to what people might find in regular physical sport games. And yet, it has it's perks compared to soccer. Soccer and other sports are interesting in the fact that you are using your energy and muscles that makes you stay alert at all times and actually pay attention to what you're doing, making victory and defeat that much stimulating.

But chess is a game that you have to calculate and look further ahead, and there is that feeling where at the end, you get to see who prevails in their calculations and predictions. It forces everyone to be on the alert and to be constantly vigilant. Losing focus can result in your downfall here.

And let's face it, unless the opponent is a sore loser or uncouth, and since the rules are so plain to see and follow, there is hardly any need for penalties or any incident of injury. Well, unless the opponent, outside of the actual playing of the game, decides to throw a king in your eye.

Besides that, you don't need a video to record games. You just need either memory, or a paper to record chess notations down turn by turn. That way, unlike soccer, it's so simple to view past games and relfect whenever you want to.

That's all for now. Until then.

Chapter 104: Before the Last Battle

Before I stop writing on this blog for a while in preparation for what could be the most important semester climax of my course of study, before I get to dive into the third year and the final year project, perhaps I should talk about something I just realised these few days.

I had recently attended a gathering/event organised by members of the Faith Community Baptist Church within the polytechnic itself, based on what is known as "The 40 Days of Faith".

And I have this habit of starting discussions that conflict and debates against the Christian faith. Personally, I blame this on the fact that being a free-thinker before, I have spent more time thinking outside of what is written within the bible scriptures. Being a student of science, who thinks of Facts vs Faith as no contest in the favour of facts, this doesn't help lower my impulse to question their beliefs at all.

And most of the time, it seems to be the same. Our discussions enver end, often going in circles. They'll try to break such circles with the talk of faith, while I defend my point of view with facts. And at the end of the day, all they seem to be able to do is give the usual "I may not have all the answers at the moment, but I'm sure they will come one day when the time is right" speech.

Hmm...

Chapter 103: Two By Two They Went

These creatures we call 'animals' so as to differentiate ourselves from us as 'humans'.

To us, as evident from the words of God, we were being given the duty of managing this Earth and it's inhabitant, including animals, as well as to replenish the Earth (Sadly I have yet to see more of this compared to destruction, but that's another story).

We rear, kill and consume animals. All in ethical and humane ways of course. According to what we mean by ethical, legal and moral.

We use them in our experiments in hopes of ultimately improving our lives of comfort. Once again, all very ethical, legal and moral as to how we defined such terms.

And of course, we humans were supposedly special. We do, of course, posess the holy spirit, unlike the animals, or so we say.

I tend to disagree, however. We can disect a human and an animal, but all we can see is the body, but there is no evidence of the animal not having any holy spirit.

We say the animals cannot have faith in God and thus have no holy spirit. But then again, it is easier for me to say and prove that they can have faith, but not in ways comprehendable by our overglorified, over-boasted, peanut brains (peanut, relative to the all-knowing God).

Let me bring about another human term. It is called bullying. Often, we define bullying as a way of giving one illusion of dominance and mastery by exerting our power over a weaker being.

Now see it this way. If we did not have the power, including the tools and the techniques to do so, could we still exert our mastery over animals and still use them according to how we please? This is assuming the animals have power equal to ours.

There you have it. No matter how much we may say that we have that special holy spirit compared to animals, we cannot do a single thing to them on our own, not unless God performed a miracle.

Holy spirit is hard to proof as to whether animals have it, but power advantage is very solid and visible.

In that case, how are we different from Bullies?

Chapter 102: Father, Saviour and Lord

Very often, when it comes to Christ in the center of our lives, we often emphasis on his role as a saviour and a lord.

But what about as a father?

So far, all that I have learnt is that we must obey, listen and practice the words of God, in order to be truly his child.

However, because of this, I remain skeptical of whether this is all there is to a father and child relation.

First up, all I can do to 'communicate' with this father is to pray and read the bible, and try to unravel the experiences and teachings he hides from us for some reason, perhaps to test us.

But what kind of father would refuse to meet face-to-face with is children and instead turn his back to us for what seems like eternity? If we see his face, we will surely die? What a kind father this is.

Even a father would like to meet his child as soon as he or she is born, no matter how angry he may be.

I have to say his anger management issues seen in the old testament makes him sound very much like a father in that aspect.

It would be nice for a father to actually listen and consider the opinions of others including his children for a change.

How can we ever learn or hold a father-child relation if he keeps his back to us and refuses to discuss and talk with us in non-cryptic ways?

And I would like to be very honest on this. If my father were to see me nothing as a plaything for 'thy pleasure' and that he can dispose me of anytime I want, I would rather wish that I never existed at all. Slaves to God indeed.

And his cruelty towards animals is quite something indeed. Reading the commandments, I keep seeing 'stone the bull to death'. Oh, and his rules of treating servants sure is nice though. If the servant wants to be with his family instead of living, let's do something to his ear which sounds quite painful in my opinion.

And it really is courteous to smash and defile sacred property of others without permission, and ostracize ourselves from non-believers. That's racial harmony and respect for the property of others for you, coming from the bible itself, which is supposed to be God's words.

Let's see here. At least a few commandments end up with putting someone to death or burning them with fire.

Nice one. Anyone caught working on one single day of the week, which is the holy sabbath, must be put to death. Even if he needs to work to support a dying family. How thoughtful and considerate of Him.

I'm sry, but just all this is starting to make me reconsider following this 'King' of ours.

I'm beginning to consider dropping out of Christ's followers.