Chapter 38: And All the World's a Rage

Good day, as I pen down more of my thoughts for memory's sake (Although what good will it bring).

Maybe I am a bit of a pessimist, as some may put it, but somehow, I see this world as a place of hardship and chaos. In a way, hardship drives us forward if we respond correctly, but on the other hand, this test of responses and effects can wipe out millions into devastation. Whether it is worth it or not, I suppose it is all in the eye of the beholder, as is with almost anything, both truth and lies, in my opinion.

'Will you continues believing in a truth, if it is a lie?' is a question I deem ridiculous in it's sense. Even the topic of whether it is deemed ridiculous or not lies in the eye of the beholder. I do not think there is an absolute truth. I think what we see as the absolute truth, is a result of the culture and society we grew up around, and the government control over the media and land. Not that the effect is immediate, but it gradually grows in influence.

I cannot see the world to be simple, because I choose not to. I see it as a complex network, because I believe it to the truth in my own eyes. They say whether there are complexities depends on whether you see them, and I choose to believe that.

On the other hand, while I do have my own ideals, I understand and respect the ideals of others, and see no point in changing them, as it will do me no good, and I cannot take away this very part of them. Even if I remove the present, the past will always remain.

To me, everybody wants to find a place they can call their home, or their own world. They want a place where they can be happy, simple as that.

I want a place where I can be truly happy too.

But changing the world to our absolute needs and desires, is never the solution. If we do this, there will always be a winner, and a loser. At the end of each day, one side ends up weeping in defeat, while the other cheers in victory.

And in this way, nothing but chaos and rage fills me.

Perhaps, the way to true happiness, is to change our ownselves. Not completely until we lose our true identity and origin, but to an extent where we can acheive what we really want with disrupting our surroundings, including the people around us.

Maybe that is what I want to. Maybe that is what will make me happy. Finding a way to true harmony.

Until then.