Chapter 47: By The Power Of Anti-Gravity... You're Driving Newton And I Up The Fourth Wall

This morning was my very first step into the notorious world of driving. That is correct. The basic theory test.

I took it at the Singapore Saftey Driving Center, conveniently located near Nanyang Polytechnic where I went to for a project meeting after I had my breakfast and test. It was just behind the Ang Mo Kio Fire Station Headquarters.

The reporting time was at 9.00 am, while the actual test started at 9.15 am, the very first session of the day. I believe it was at room 3 of level 4, near the enquiries counter, as directed by the obvious sign I saw near the main entrance of the building.

I arrived at around 8.40 am, and waited around the room. While so, I took a look at the notices on the board.

First up were two articles describing how some man in his late 30's charged S$300 per student to help them cheat by taking the theory tests on their behalf. I believed this applied to both the basic and final ones. Supposedly, he used their NRIC cards with his own pictures. Of course, using this amateurish method, he got caught in the end. (P.S I'm sure I would have done a better job, both economically and stealthily) (S$300 feels like short-changing clients if you ask me) (Not that I would do so in the future which is full of possibilities)

The second that piqued my interest were the pass rates of the three known test centers in the very fine (if you catch my drift) country of Singapore. By the way, they were not exactly the encouragement I needed. The test center I was taking the test at apparently has the lowest percentage of passes for theory tests so far, though their practical pass rates were decent.

Before I knew it, one by one other candidates appeared. They formed the most interesting part of my first attempt experience, to say the least.

All kinds of people came to take the test. Some were middle-aged adults, some were young polytechnic students like me and there were people trying to convert their foreign driving licenses to Singapore ones. There was even an obvious first-timer, who enquired for the test reporting time at the counters. And then, there were also candidates who had obviously done it before.

When the reporting time came, we formed a queue to the desk near the entrance of the room inside. When my turn came, I simply showed my NRIC card, and they gave me a piece of paper with my name and station number at the front, with a warning to disqualified drivers at the back to not take the test.

I sat at the last stream of the fourth row, between a Malay middle-aged woman, and a young chinese national (or maybe chinese educared) man.

After the introduction by the invigilator, and the briefing with the kind of voice you would hear in a hotline, we began the test. I entered my given password into the modern touch-screen computer, and began the 50 questioned MCQs (Multiple-Choice Questions). Some came with semi-flash-video diagrams, and I had a generous 50 minutes to complete them, of which I took up only 10 to 20.

The young man beside me finished a little earlier, and he did not look very happy, which once again, was not a relief to my already nervous mind from the night before.

Once I made sure that I answered all questions to the best of my judgement and ability at the time (the question index for checking was quite helpful due to fears of double touching and thus skipping questions unintentionally), I clicked the almighty 'end test' button, and waited for the judgement.

2 seconds passed... and... I passed. I could not help but feel dizzy with joy and success later on, though I had to first leave the room.

I was waiting to be told by the invigilator what to do, and was informed that I had to throw away the paper I was given initially (kind of like throwing used fullscap paper at the GCE O levels). The confidential message would self-destruct soon in 5 seconds, I guess. Maybe I should have paid more attention to the birefing =P.

I left, printed the result slip, went to the canteen for breakfast and exited the bulding. I saw a honda bike stimulator, which looked very interesting (and fun XD), enough to make me consider trying it.

I am currently considering doing the final theory test before getting the provisonal driving license (PBL, two L plates, registered car and instructor, no expressway).

And that, was my first experience at ssdc (I must have looked and sounded like a toruist >_<).

Until then.

Chapter 46: Looking Back, and Sideways

Everyone really is selfish, are we not?

This is to be expected, no matter how shocking it may seem to some people. After all, everyone wants a better life. And most of the time, throughout the sands of time, it has been proven that the most effective way measured by the yield of results against units of time, you need to take something away from the opposition, or from the surroundings around you in order to gain something.

Maybe gaining will not lead to a better life, but most people believe it to be. There cannot be a winner if no one loses. And since people carry on following their own methods regardless of who they hurt, or who gets in the way, this proves how selfish they truly are.

True, it may seem like they actually care for others, but it is but an illusion. In most cases, there is hardly any improvement in the care of others. The damage remains, despite the blanket of sympathy covering it.

You can try, but you can never run away from your selfish nature.

We were all made with one body each to look after.

We were not meant, nor are we able to fully comprehend what it means to be another person. Without this capability, true compassion is unlikely.

We need only look after ourselves to survive.

Since we were made to have unique minds, no matter how similar, opinions from us are biased, and influenced by our individual attitude and perspective (possibly modified and, or built up through interactions with the environment) to at least a minimal extent. Therefore, we often think what we view to be best for the world is truly the best.

The world is a dark place, but we can always try to cover it with paper-thin, beatiful hope.

Chapter 45: Weather Within Emotions

Dry, bitter, harsh, frigid, biting winds driving through the mind. Knowing that I should be upset, but not being able to remember the reason why. Or maybe it just goes two ways. I do not quite remember why, but neither do I want to try to find out why.

I just want to, and feel like walking away and carrying on the rest of life is all I can do. Or maybe I just want to believe that is all I can and should do.

The dust in the sky bring about tears within that cannot fall along with the buried memory.

The sunset does invoke memories of the times that were both fun and upsetting, yet not being that which I want to remember.

But it also reminds me that the future holds a lot more, and that I simply want to carry on, believing that the past was but a long forgotten dream.

Maybe that should be the way it is. I do sort of feel happier this way, or at least I see it that way.

Chapter 44: I Gave It My Best

Results came out yesterday at 8 am.

Microbiology A (4 credits) - Distinction
Food Culture (4 credits) - Distinction
Introduction to Molecular Biotechnology (4 credits) - A
Inorganic Chemistry (4 credits) - B+
Communication Skills (2 credits) - C+
Mathematics for Life Sciences (3 credits) - C

Last semester's GPA - 2.98
Current semester's GPA - Uncalculated
Accumulated GPA - 3.198

Feeling - Unsatisfied, bitter

I gave it my best. But in the end, I suppose it just was not good enough. Perhaps things are indeed predetermined. Whether we have the strength we need, or not.

Chapter 43: What Have These Eyes Seen...?

These few days, I have seen a few interesting things. Well, at least interesting enough to write home about. Just yesterday, there was a gundam exhibition with plenty of interesting model kits (You know, those miniature model kits of mobile mecha suits in the extremely long history of animation series?).

I took a few photgraphs here and there, since even I could not resist from the sight of such perfect and fascinating displays, despite my relative inexperience and lack of knowledge on the series. Too bad I cannot, and probably will not upload any of them (It's a thing of mine, blogsite's policy). If it is still open though, and you happen to be in the area, make your way down to Compasspoint (I believe that is the name of the place in Singapore?).

Check out the huge Strike Freedom over there, and along with the gundam's version of the well-known story of the 'Thrre Kingdoms', and the sneak peeks of prototypes... Oh, just check everything there out.

Besides that, I also spotted a few interesting places, which I believe to be at the top floor of a building known as Plaza Singapura.

For one thing, there was a special outlet known as 'Toy Outpost', and I quite like their idea. It's very intriguing, and allows you to not only browse and purchase items, but also allow you to rent a display locker for as low as $1.95 a day (maybe $60 a month), with some conditions though, to display and sell your own interesting items.

Such items can be vintage and also the latest modern toys, collectibles such as trading cards and lighters and other things, though I might not know the limitations as I have never tried it myself.

Besides being a great place to find rare items, this idea lets you experience what it is like to be the boss of your own 'little business'. But why not let you drop by and experience these wonders for yourself?

If you happen to be there, there is another place that sells great (may actually working) guns, swords and amours of all kinds. I simply viewed them, since their price is kind of out of my reach. But, from what I had seen, they had not only really old specimens, but also really cool replicas of items you may have seen in animations and manga, or other media. This I have got to reccomend.

All in all, I have had quite an experience around these places. But, like I mentioned earlier, it might be worth your while to experience them for yourself.

Until then.

Chapter 42: Just a Couple of Thoughts

While walking around once, I crossed paths with two very playful children, running around. Seeing them coming, I did, of course, try to step aside, but unfortunately, clashed with the younger of the two instead, resulting in her tripping, and crying.

I know it was an accident, but I could not help but feel a little disappointed, that perhaps I might have made the choice of attempting to step away in a different direction. I could not help but think, that perhaps I was partially at fault.

I suppose I was, which I have to admit, but since I did not have any intention of wanting this unexpected event to happen, but instead chose to try to stop it from happening with the best of my judgements and actions at the time, would that mnake me a sinner? Maybe whether I am depends on the perspective from which it is portrayed.

I know this question does not have much significance for now... but it would be an added bonus to know the answer, as it does interest me a little.

That aside... these few days, I cannot help but wonder if some people are hopelessly selfish? Maybe it is simply my view from living around my fellow countrymen, and having little exposure to the rest of the world, so let us limit my views to say, majority of the people I have met at those times.

That said, my experiences have given me the impression that these people, including myself, deep down within, even if it be only a insignificantly small amount, are selfish thoughts.

After all... if I were to succumb entirely to this selfish part of me, I realised that my thoughts and views on life change. This next paragraph depicts these thoughts.

"I am only given one life, and in the end, am I not the only one who can look after it? Who is to say others would help me, if I were to do the same for them? No, the only trusted idea is that I would certainly be the only one who can look after myself in the end. Therefore, no good would come out of compassion. Let others help each other if they wish, I do not need to care at all. Even if the whole world dies off, what does it matter to me?"

But if I were to fully control my own mind, I obviously do not think this is entirely true. I know that we are all connected to this same world together, live and will die at the same place, and therefore, the key to surviving and building a truly enhanced life is to work together, and give care and compassion to each other.

But the point here is, no matter how many courtesy campaignes we hold, we do not strive to eliminate selfishness, but to supress it to desirable and helpful (of our current perspective, of course) levels.

That is about all, for now.

Chapter 41: And the End of the Journey...

A few days ago, I was playing a game for lesiure, trying to kill time during my 7 weeks of holidays. I had no big project, since I would only get promoted to year 2 the next semester.

But while my opponent was enjoying the fun of the game (while he was winning of course), and as he looked on to see if I found the same joy, I realised I might have been a little too serious.

At that time, others were enjoying the fun and amusement of the game, during the journey itself, and all I could think of with grim was finding a strategy to come back for a full victory. I felt the only was I could ever be happy was if the end of the journey was in my favour.

The same probably goes for everything else I have done. To put it simply, perhaps my attitude towards life needs to be adjusted. People say the journey is more important than the goal itself, which is a concept I have completely opposed...