That's it. Five examination papers came by and gone, so fast, just like that. Now that these five monster modules are out of the way, these five bumps on the road, a new hurdle appears. My final year project approaches, which I have a certain fear about. For one thing, I have never been too skilled when it comes to practicals and presentations. This module includes a lot of lab work and a final presentation at the end.
Everyday at school will be 8.30 am to 5.30 am, with perhaps one hour lunch break at most. The timings for work may be extended if need be.
Oh, right. If I pass my Marketing for Life Sciences 1 this year, I get to take it's sequel next semester too.
I start going back next monday.
That's all for now.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Chapter 105: Checkgoal
Alright, I still post even within such crucial times, unlike what I had said in the last post. I was taking a break for a while, and thought of a game I haven't played for a while. I stopped going to the Chess Club for a while, mainly because except for one and a half of other people, the rest of the players were mainly arrogant, and very ironically, the sterotypical disgrace I thought rarely existed. Biggest one is the latest head honcho who used to be an ex-captain, did badly and had to complete National Service, and still comes crawling back jobless, but is still able to talk big.
To be honest, I respect them as players, but not them as people.
Hopefully that one and half doesn't get corrupt too, just as most people do within 1/2 a year, as I had experienced.
I learnt the game in an about less than an hour after being taught by a friend a few years ago who convinced me to join the co-curricular club he was in, by the lures of a good air conditioned and comfortable environment, with the teacher in charge promising to deliver as many CCA points as possible.
I'm still learning to improve, but I didn't have any other associates whom I managed to convince to play the game. Mainly because of misconceptions.
And even still now, I'm hearing the same ones again.
First of all, do not generalise all players of this game as nerds. I'll like to point out that this applies not only to chess, but science students.
Second of all, stop with the sterotypes of chess players being smart or good at memorising. Not only is that generalising, but let me give you an example here. I'm lousy at grades, possibly one of the worst students in my school in all history, and I have a terrible memory when it comes to taking note of the names of people I manage to meet only once or twice. And the kind of fool who rambles on this blog and often doesn't listen to his own advice.
There's a lot more other than that.
I enjoy chess because it's a game, just like that soccer most people enjoy so much. It has that intense feeling that is special, quite similar to what people might find in regular physical sport games. And yet, it has it's perks compared to soccer. Soccer and other sports are interesting in the fact that you are using your energy and muscles that makes you stay alert at all times and actually pay attention to what you're doing, making victory and defeat that much stimulating.
But chess is a game that you have to calculate and look further ahead, and there is that feeling where at the end, you get to see who prevails in their calculations and predictions. It forces everyone to be on the alert and to be constantly vigilant. Losing focus can result in your downfall here.
And let's face it, unless the opponent is a sore loser or uncouth, and since the rules are so plain to see and follow, there is hardly any need for penalties or any incident of injury. Well, unless the opponent, outside of the actual playing of the game, decides to throw a king in your eye.
Besides that, you don't need a video to record games. You just need either memory, or a paper to record chess notations down turn by turn. That way, unlike soccer, it's so simple to view past games and relfect whenever you want to.
That's all for now. Until then.
To be honest, I respect them as players, but not them as people.
Hopefully that one and half doesn't get corrupt too, just as most people do within 1/2 a year, as I had experienced.
I learnt the game in an about less than an hour after being taught by a friend a few years ago who convinced me to join the co-curricular club he was in, by the lures of a good air conditioned and comfortable environment, with the teacher in charge promising to deliver as many CCA points as possible.
I'm still learning to improve, but I didn't have any other associates whom I managed to convince to play the game. Mainly because of misconceptions.
And even still now, I'm hearing the same ones again.
First of all, do not generalise all players of this game as nerds. I'll like to point out that this applies not only to chess, but science students.
Second of all, stop with the sterotypes of chess players being smart or good at memorising. Not only is that generalising, but let me give you an example here. I'm lousy at grades, possibly one of the worst students in my school in all history, and I have a terrible memory when it comes to taking note of the names of people I manage to meet only once or twice. And the kind of fool who rambles on this blog and often doesn't listen to his own advice.
There's a lot more other than that.
I enjoy chess because it's a game, just like that soccer most people enjoy so much. It has that intense feeling that is special, quite similar to what people might find in regular physical sport games. And yet, it has it's perks compared to soccer. Soccer and other sports are interesting in the fact that you are using your energy and muscles that makes you stay alert at all times and actually pay attention to what you're doing, making victory and defeat that much stimulating.
But chess is a game that you have to calculate and look further ahead, and there is that feeling where at the end, you get to see who prevails in their calculations and predictions. It forces everyone to be on the alert and to be constantly vigilant. Losing focus can result in your downfall here.
And let's face it, unless the opponent is a sore loser or uncouth, and since the rules are so plain to see and follow, there is hardly any need for penalties or any incident of injury. Well, unless the opponent, outside of the actual playing of the game, decides to throw a king in your eye.
Besides that, you don't need a video to record games. You just need either memory, or a paper to record chess notations down turn by turn. That way, unlike soccer, it's so simple to view past games and relfect whenever you want to.
That's all for now. Until then.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Chapter 104: Before the Last Battle
Before I stop writing on this blog for a while in preparation for what could be the most important semester climax of my course of study, before I get to dive into the third year and the final year project, perhaps I should talk about something I just realised these few days.
I had recently attended a gathering/event organised by members of the Faith Community Baptist Church within the polytechnic itself, based on what is known as "The 40 Days of Faith".
And I have this habit of starting discussions that conflict and debates against the Christian faith. Personally, I blame this on the fact that being a free-thinker before, I have spent more time thinking outside of what is written within the bible scriptures. Being a student of science, who thinks of Facts vs Faith as no contest in the favour of facts, this doesn't help lower my impulse to question their beliefs at all.
And most of the time, it seems to be the same. Our discussions enver end, often going in circles. They'll try to break such circles with the talk of faith, while I defend my point of view with facts. And at the end of the day, all they seem to be able to do is give the usual "I may not have all the answers at the moment, but I'm sure they will come one day when the time is right" speech.
Hmm...
I had recently attended a gathering/event organised by members of the Faith Community Baptist Church within the polytechnic itself, based on what is known as "The 40 Days of Faith".
And I have this habit of starting discussions that conflict and debates against the Christian faith. Personally, I blame this on the fact that being a free-thinker before, I have spent more time thinking outside of what is written within the bible scriptures. Being a student of science, who thinks of Facts vs Faith as no contest in the favour of facts, this doesn't help lower my impulse to question their beliefs at all.
And most of the time, it seems to be the same. Our discussions enver end, often going in circles. They'll try to break such circles with the talk of faith, while I defend my point of view with facts. And at the end of the day, all they seem to be able to do is give the usual "I may not have all the answers at the moment, but I'm sure they will come one day when the time is right" speech.
Hmm...
Monday, July 26, 2010
Chapter 103: Two By Two They Went
These creatures we call 'animals' so as to differentiate ourselves from us as 'humans'.
To us, as evident from the words of God, we were being given the duty of managing this Earth and it's inhabitant, including animals, as well as to replenish the Earth (Sadly I have yet to see more of this compared to destruction, but that's another story).
We rear, kill and consume animals. All in ethical and humane ways of course. According to what we mean by ethical, legal and moral.
We use them in our experiments in hopes of ultimately improving our lives of comfort. Once again, all very ethical, legal and moral as to how we defined such terms.
And of course, we humans were supposedly special. We do, of course, posess the holy spirit, unlike the animals, or so we say.
I tend to disagree, however. We can disect a human and an animal, but all we can see is the body, but there is no evidence of the animal not having any holy spirit.
We say the animals cannot have faith in God and thus have no holy spirit. But then again, it is easier for me to say and prove that they can have faith, but not in ways comprehendable by our overglorified, over-boasted, peanut brains (peanut, relative to the all-knowing God).
Let me bring about another human term. It is called bullying. Often, we define bullying as a way of giving one illusion of dominance and mastery by exerting our power over a weaker being.
Now see it this way. If we did not have the power, including the tools and the techniques to do so, could we still exert our mastery over animals and still use them according to how we please? This is assuming the animals have power equal to ours.
There you have it. No matter how much we may say that we have that special holy spirit compared to animals, we cannot do a single thing to them on our own, not unless God performed a miracle.
Holy spirit is hard to proof as to whether animals have it, but power advantage is very solid and visible.
In that case, how are we different from Bullies?
To us, as evident from the words of God, we were being given the duty of managing this Earth and it's inhabitant, including animals, as well as to replenish the Earth (Sadly I have yet to see more of this compared to destruction, but that's another story).
We rear, kill and consume animals. All in ethical and humane ways of course. According to what we mean by ethical, legal and moral.
We use them in our experiments in hopes of ultimately improving our lives of comfort. Once again, all very ethical, legal and moral as to how we defined such terms.
And of course, we humans were supposedly special. We do, of course, posess the holy spirit, unlike the animals, or so we say.
I tend to disagree, however. We can disect a human and an animal, but all we can see is the body, but there is no evidence of the animal not having any holy spirit.
We say the animals cannot have faith in God and thus have no holy spirit. But then again, it is easier for me to say and prove that they can have faith, but not in ways comprehendable by our overglorified, over-boasted, peanut brains (peanut, relative to the all-knowing God).
Let me bring about another human term. It is called bullying. Often, we define bullying as a way of giving one illusion of dominance and mastery by exerting our power over a weaker being.
Now see it this way. If we did not have the power, including the tools and the techniques to do so, could we still exert our mastery over animals and still use them according to how we please? This is assuming the animals have power equal to ours.
There you have it. No matter how much we may say that we have that special holy spirit compared to animals, we cannot do a single thing to them on our own, not unless God performed a miracle.
Holy spirit is hard to proof as to whether animals have it, but power advantage is very solid and visible.
In that case, how are we different from Bullies?
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Chapter 102: Father, Saviour and Lord
Very often, when it comes to Christ in the center of our lives, we often emphasis on his role as a saviour and a lord.
But what about as a father?
So far, all that I have learnt is that we must obey, listen and practice the words of God, in order to be truly his child.
However, because of this, I remain skeptical of whether this is all there is to a father and child relation.
First up, all I can do to 'communicate' with this father is to pray and read the bible, and try to unravel the experiences and teachings he hides from us for some reason, perhaps to test us.
But what kind of father would refuse to meet face-to-face with is children and instead turn his back to us for what seems like eternity? If we see his face, we will surely die? What a kind father this is.
Even a father would like to meet his child as soon as he or she is born, no matter how angry he may be.
I have to say his anger management issues seen in the old testament makes him sound very much like a father in that aspect.
It would be nice for a father to actually listen and consider the opinions of others including his children for a change.
How can we ever learn or hold a father-child relation if he keeps his back to us and refuses to discuss and talk with us in non-cryptic ways?
And I would like to be very honest on this. If my father were to see me nothing as a plaything for 'thy pleasure' and that he can dispose me of anytime I want, I would rather wish that I never existed at all. Slaves to God indeed.
And his cruelty towards animals is quite something indeed. Reading the commandments, I keep seeing 'stone the bull to death'. Oh, and his rules of treating servants sure is nice though. If the servant wants to be with his family instead of living, let's do something to his ear which sounds quite painful in my opinion.
And it really is courteous to smash and defile sacred property of others without permission, and ostracize ourselves from non-believers. That's racial harmony and respect for the property of others for you, coming from the bible itself, which is supposed to be God's words.
Let's see here. At least a few commandments end up with putting someone to death or burning them with fire.
Nice one. Anyone caught working on one single day of the week, which is the holy sabbath, must be put to death. Even if he needs to work to support a dying family. How thoughtful and considerate of Him.
I'm sry, but just all this is starting to make me reconsider following this 'King' of ours.
I'm beginning to consider dropping out of Christ's followers.
But what about as a father?
So far, all that I have learnt is that we must obey, listen and practice the words of God, in order to be truly his child.
However, because of this, I remain skeptical of whether this is all there is to a father and child relation.
First up, all I can do to 'communicate' with this father is to pray and read the bible, and try to unravel the experiences and teachings he hides from us for some reason, perhaps to test us.
But what kind of father would refuse to meet face-to-face with is children and instead turn his back to us for what seems like eternity? If we see his face, we will surely die? What a kind father this is.
Even a father would like to meet his child as soon as he or she is born, no matter how angry he may be.
I have to say his anger management issues seen in the old testament makes him sound very much like a father in that aspect.
It would be nice for a father to actually listen and consider the opinions of others including his children for a change.
How can we ever learn or hold a father-child relation if he keeps his back to us and refuses to discuss and talk with us in non-cryptic ways?
And I would like to be very honest on this. If my father were to see me nothing as a plaything for 'thy pleasure' and that he can dispose me of anytime I want, I would rather wish that I never existed at all. Slaves to God indeed.
And his cruelty towards animals is quite something indeed. Reading the commandments, I keep seeing 'stone the bull to death'. Oh, and his rules of treating servants sure is nice though. If the servant wants to be with his family instead of living, let's do something to his ear which sounds quite painful in my opinion.
And it really is courteous to smash and defile sacred property of others without permission, and ostracize ourselves from non-believers. That's racial harmony and respect for the property of others for you, coming from the bible itself, which is supposed to be God's words.
Let's see here. At least a few commandments end up with putting someone to death or burning them with fire.
Nice one. Anyone caught working on one single day of the week, which is the holy sabbath, must be put to death. Even if he needs to work to support a dying family. How thoughtful and considerate of Him.
I'm sry, but just all this is starting to make me reconsider following this 'King' of ours.
I'm beginning to consider dropping out of Christ's followers.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Chapter 101: Everything I Have
After everything that has happened so far, there is so much that I want to say in today's entry. I'm going to let out everything now.
About a few days ago, a worker at CCC heard about how I could participate in Buddhist Society activities and yet lead a Christian life, since he once said that their beliefs contradicted each other. I told him about this since I said that I had joined the YOG Flash Mob training as part of their training.
Let me focus on the reason why I joined in the first place. Believe it or not, at first, I had absolutely no intention of joining in some ridiculous actions and movements while shouting a cheer that would remove every shred of dignity I had left. I just didn't run that way.
But according to what I heard, BS was in terrible trouble if they could not find enough people to fill the quota required, and they were far behind. The threat was to be disbanded so as to make room for other CCAs to become official. It was not the making more room, as I felt they had their point there.
What I was infuriated at was that this was sounding more and more like they wanted to do this for the sake of doing so for some obnoxious political agenda rather than to uphold the true sportsman spirit and pride of Singapore.
I was even more so knowing full well I did not have the power needed to stop them.
But I could only do the next best thing by joining.
True, my joining still left them short of people. But just because I am weak and cannot fully produce a solution to solve the problem, doesn't mean I have an excuse to stand by. I'm sure that, Buddhist Society or not, the Lord would command me to assist my fellow men rather than remain idle.
When it comes to the issue the CCC member mentioned, let me put it this way. I am not entirely sure if this is what society wants, but when I first joined these groups, my first thought was to learn and understand about the different people around. You can read all the religious books in the world, but they won't help you a bit in truly understanding. These books were printed in perspective, and such knowledge is not used to it's full potential without the input of experience.
The commandments mentioned obeying only the true lord. But Buddha was never a God. He was, in fact, a teacher. Although I merely joined to witness their ways first hand, this does not mean that I entirely approve of their ideals. The way I see it, I am simply looking at his teachings, that is, I am listening to his opinions.
"Do not lean on your own understanding". Of course, I will remain faithful to the Lord and listen as well as carry out his commands, but let me ask you this. Anyone of you who wishes to question my actions.
"Why not" Whenever we discuss a topic, even something as sensitive as religion, we like to stay true to our opinions, and voice them out. Let's face it, we choosed to follow Christ based on our own free will, opinions, and attitude. The choice to make the first step stemmed from a the results of a process shaped by our own perspective.
However, the way I see it, it is also good to listen to the opinions of others, while giving ours, and this is what we call discussion. Communication. An actual exchange of what is stored up there is our minds.
And what better way is there to do so other than combining both knowledge we acquired through books and witnessing the activities and beliefs of others?
If there is one thing I wish to do more than just read the bible, I want to communicate with Him. For that reason, I have always preferred combining bible reading with prayers. So we could actually hold a discussion.
About a few days ago, a worker at CCC heard about how I could participate in Buddhist Society activities and yet lead a Christian life, since he once said that their beliefs contradicted each other. I told him about this since I said that I had joined the YOG Flash Mob training as part of their training.
Let me focus on the reason why I joined in the first place. Believe it or not, at first, I had absolutely no intention of joining in some ridiculous actions and movements while shouting a cheer that would remove every shred of dignity I had left. I just didn't run that way.
But according to what I heard, BS was in terrible trouble if they could not find enough people to fill the quota required, and they were far behind. The threat was to be disbanded so as to make room for other CCAs to become official. It was not the making more room, as I felt they had their point there.
What I was infuriated at was that this was sounding more and more like they wanted to do this for the sake of doing so for some obnoxious political agenda rather than to uphold the true sportsman spirit and pride of Singapore.
I was even more so knowing full well I did not have the power needed to stop them.
But I could only do the next best thing by joining.
True, my joining still left them short of people. But just because I am weak and cannot fully produce a solution to solve the problem, doesn't mean I have an excuse to stand by. I'm sure that, Buddhist Society or not, the Lord would command me to assist my fellow men rather than remain idle.
When it comes to the issue the CCC member mentioned, let me put it this way. I am not entirely sure if this is what society wants, but when I first joined these groups, my first thought was to learn and understand about the different people around. You can read all the religious books in the world, but they won't help you a bit in truly understanding. These books were printed in perspective, and such knowledge is not used to it's full potential without the input of experience.
The commandments mentioned obeying only the true lord. But Buddha was never a God. He was, in fact, a teacher. Although I merely joined to witness their ways first hand, this does not mean that I entirely approve of their ideals. The way I see it, I am simply looking at his teachings, that is, I am listening to his opinions.
"Do not lean on your own understanding". Of course, I will remain faithful to the Lord and listen as well as carry out his commands, but let me ask you this. Anyone of you who wishes to question my actions.
"Why not" Whenever we discuss a topic, even something as sensitive as religion, we like to stay true to our opinions, and voice them out. Let's face it, we choosed to follow Christ based on our own free will, opinions, and attitude. The choice to make the first step stemmed from a the results of a process shaped by our own perspective.
However, the way I see it, it is also good to listen to the opinions of others, while giving ours, and this is what we call discussion. Communication. An actual exchange of what is stored up there is our minds.
And what better way is there to do so other than combining both knowledge we acquired through books and witnessing the activities and beliefs of others?
If there is one thing I wish to do more than just read the bible, I want to communicate with Him. For that reason, I have always preferred combining bible reading with prayers. So we could actually hold a discussion.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Chapter 100: No Truth, No Tome
Whew. The 100th chapter, huh? When I first started this blog as a way to past time early last year, I never thought I would write seriously and enough to go beyond 70 chapters.
Time for a review, I suppose.
Looking back at early posts made, most of them were pretty rough, undeveloped, immature and written with limited knowledge and understanding of what to write within this blog. Most of it sounded like mindless scribbles on a nursery notebook, and probably still does, albeit not as much as it used to.
But, frankly, I may be a little... okay, very much, embarrassed by what I wrote before. But, I refuse to delete them, because I also quite fond of keeping this blog to remind me of how much has changed or happened, including my views of the places and people around me.
And no matter how many times I can rewind the passage of time, or try as much as I can, I will never create the same memories that I have right now, and that's just how special they are to me. I said special, but I never said anything about pleasant.
I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
Here's to another 900 more chapters.
And it's great knowing that the common tests are over for now, but the aftermath is not too pretty. Two reports and one assignment.
Time for a review, I suppose.
Looking back at early posts made, most of them were pretty rough, undeveloped, immature and written with limited knowledge and understanding of what to write within this blog. Most of it sounded like mindless scribbles on a nursery notebook, and probably still does, albeit not as much as it used to.
But, frankly, I may be a little... okay, very much, embarrassed by what I wrote before. But, I refuse to delete them, because I also quite fond of keeping this blog to remind me of how much has changed or happened, including my views of the places and people around me.
And no matter how many times I can rewind the passage of time, or try as much as I can, I will never create the same memories that I have right now, and that's just how special they are to me. I said special, but I never said anything about pleasant.
I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.
Here's to another 900 more chapters.
And it's great knowing that the common tests are over for now, but the aftermath is not too pretty. Two reports and one assignment.
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