Chapter 16: Land Ho!

Hello, readers of the tome of truth. Yes, that is true. I am finally back from the my lovely 'outdoors' trip spent in a resort in Malaysia where I could have done the same things back at Singapore. But I guess there is one thing that I just cannot replicate in Singapore that I experienced in Malaysia and anywhere I go with my family. No, it is not family love. No matter where I am, so long as my family is within me, or even physically around, that will always exist. Even if I were to lose my memories about them, this special key will always exist, whether they are remembered or not. It does exist, and that is the ultimate truth that not even the passage of time or reality can erase.

It is the ability to explore different places together as one that I had experienced. And I really appreciate that.

But with that aside, I have been thinking of rising up to go against the tide even though the odds seem to be against me. If anything, I want to know that I have lived my life with full satisfaction, and that means knowing that I did all I could, whether I fail or not. I do not care about the goal or benefits, for those are simply bonuses. I care about the means I used to get to them.

True, I often faced many defeats, but who cares? I certainly do not care whether about the prize at the end of the finish line or, my greed or fear. Life is a journey of one's own, and I will do it my way.

Now I certainly feel a little embarassed about spilling my thoughts so freely. >.< But I guess that is what a blog should be for. I feel better and as though a heavy load's been taken off. To be honest, I will have to confess to you guys, and I will have to apologize.

Well, I have not really been putting much into my posts, even in my very first ones. I guess one of the worst aspects of me, is that I never really show people the truth. How ironic. Despite writing the tome of truth, all I have been writing is a half truth. Many of you may find my writing a little... well to quote from 'someone' , dark, and brooding.

But this is just a small part of what I really feel. I guess I'm not really fit to write this blog. All my life, I have never really said what I truly want to, not even to my close friends, or my parents at all. I always wish to, but I just seem to hesitate at the last minute. Whenever I feel set back by a small defeat, and I try to get back on my feet, or I feel really upset, I just do not like to reveal it to my surroundings. Now that I think of it, I always had an excuse for not chatting with my parents or friends about this. 'Oh, this is such a small matter, and personal too. I'll sound like a wimpering weakling if I blabbed about it. Besides, I can handle this on my own.'

But in a way, I have to ask for an apology from everyone around me, including you people, the esteemed readers of the tome of truth from not actually telling the whole truth, giving only half of what you should get. I guess my pride got in the way.

I will try to write what the readers really deserve.